You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
