It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just tell him i said nine months
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
