you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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