No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
