I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
