I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
