so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
