I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
