GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
