So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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