I want to have your abortion
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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