oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
