I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
