So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
