Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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