I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize