I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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