I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
