I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
