So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
