We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
