Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
