In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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