I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize