Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
one might say we're banned from that church
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
