you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's always time for handjobs
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
