I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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