I'm going to jail i love you
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
