ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
