How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm at about main and main street
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
