id be glad to
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
