The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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