to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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