i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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