no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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