And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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