in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize