Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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