no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i love accidental penises.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
