i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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