peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
