Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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