so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
