You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
