The maid of honor just puked.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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