With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
