I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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