he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
