Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
