you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just cropdusted the office
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
