I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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