i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
