with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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