i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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