I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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