I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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