needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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