You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
