yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
