Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
