I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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