im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
