he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
