no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
