Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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