This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
