We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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