Your tits are I can't wait for
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
two words: eviction party
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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