I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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