Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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