did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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