Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
